A little update. I have started to take medication for my panic attacks and panic syndrome. I am really scared of getting a panic attack because I know how bad it can get. I had anxiety that hasn't gone away. The medication is supposed to make my life a little bit easier so I can be brave enough to face my fear. I don't want to run away from my anxiety anymore, I want to prove myself that I can live a more peaceful and a more free life without being scared all the time. I want to focus more on the future now and dealing with my anxiety is something I need to do. 

Anyways I started to take medication last friday and my anxiety has grown to the worst. I cry because I can't deal with my feelings and the anxiety, I don't know what to do. My boyfriend have stayed over a lot just to help me deal with it. He's not very educated in psychology and anxiety things and well that is a - but I can't except too much of him. He ease the anxiety and he's doing great, thanks for being so patient with me and stands up for me.

I hope to get better soon.